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Good afternoon, Marilyn. You know how much I LOVE this week’s theme of letting go. We gain so much personal power by loosing the ties that bind, whether they are emotional, relational, or in my area of interest, material. Eventually we all will leave everything behind because, as someone famous (it’s either Billy Graham or Denzel Washington, depending on your source) said, “There’s no Uhaul behind the hearse.”
If we can’t take it with us, then why do we resist so vociferously letting it go now? Even things we don’t use are hard to part with because these things have taken on a larger meaning. We tell ourselves these are essential to our wellbeing, compelling us to hold onto them. To illustrate, let me ask whether any of these sound familiar:
“I can’t get rid of that because:
- I am saving it for my kids or grandkids;
- I might need it one day;
- I spent darned good money on that!
- My great-aunt Ruby bequeathed that to me in her will.
It doesn’t take much to see that these stories that we tell ourselves are actually more like myths.
Let’s debunk the first so-called reason: “I’m saving it for my kids or grandkids.” My response would be to ask three questions: Do they know? Do they want it? When are they coming for it?
The truth is, sadly, our kids have neither the desire nor space for our surplus stuff, even though we believe we’re benefiting them by saving it. In my own case, one of my daughters moved back home after university, and was helping me declutter the furnace room. She asked about a baby cradle lodged in the corner. “I’m saving it for my future grandbabies,” I proudly declared. “What?!” she asked, “That old stuff isn’t up to today’s safety code! Are you trying to kill them?” Off to the donation site it went…
Seriously, if you are saving stuff for family, ASK them, don’t presume. Better yet, let them pick out their own favourite things from among your belongings. You might be very surprised what is meaningful to them.
Another myth I hear is that people hang on to surplus because they might need it one day. That may seem like a reasonable objection, but I have to ask, “When was the last time you actually used it?” If it’s been more than a season or two, it’s time to let it go.
Here are items that frequently fall into this “some day” category:
- Sporting equipment: If you can’t reasonably see yourself back on that bike, or skis, or golf course, let it go.
- Hardware and power tools: your days of finishing basements or building cottage bunkies are likely past, so why not pass along those tools to someone who will get good use out of them?
- Small appliances: We all seem to collect makers: ice-cream makers, bread makers, rice makers, yogurt makers. Add in unused stand mixers, waffle irons, slow cookers and Instapots, and you get the idea: let them go!
- Don’t get me started on clothing! An entire segment could was recently done on letting go of closet clutter. Look it up on our website.
People who have been taught to be good stewards of their resources are afraid to be wasteful by getting rid of practical items like these. However, if you know logically that you wouldn’t likely repurchase an item today, I hereby give you permission to let it go!
Finally we get to the tricky business of sentiment attachment to items. Believe me, I know all about this! Before I moved, I had boxes of preschool macaroni art saved away, but for what? I think it’s because I felt if I threw them out I was losing the happy memories, too. Unfortunately, we can’t stop children from growing up, or people we love from passing on, and keeping the stuff that reminds us of them won’t bring them back - especially if it’s squirreled away in boxes we never open. What I did was pare it down to one box per kid, took pictures on my cell phone of the rest, and let it go!
If you need help letting go, I strongly recommend you reach out to me to request your copy of, “The Decluttering Battle Plan,” or to sign up for the “30-Day Decluttering Challenge.” You can reach me at smartrealtysolution.com or by calling me, Sharon, at 416-460-5636. As your downsizing Realtor, these resources will help you sing a new song, “Let it go, let it go…”
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